Stages of Change
It all begins with an idea.
Before we make any changes in life and in our behaviors, we all go through the same stages of change.
These stages are:
Pre-contemplation: “I don’t know I need to make a change”.
Contemplation: “I know I need to make a change but I’m not ready to do it”.
Preparation/Planning: “I know I need to make a change, I’m getting ready to do it by preparing mentally, physically, logistically, emotionally, etc.”
Action: “I’m taking action to make this change”.
Maintence: “I’m continuing to maintain this change”.
Relapse: “I went back to old behaviors and went back to pre-contemplation”.
Example: Eating “healthier”.
Pre-Contemplation: Not being aware of any problem with eating habits.
Contemplation: Realizing that the way you eat has consequences but not being ready to make changes.
Preparation: Make a grocery list with more fruits, vegetables and protein.
Action: Eat more fruits veggies and protien.
Maintenance: Continue to buy and eat more fruits, veggies and protein.
Relapse: Go on vacation, eat less fruit, veggies and protein. Come back and order take out. Go back to pre-contemplation.
Most people prefer one stage over another. Some want to prepare for a change for a long time before taking action. Others don’t want to spend any time preparing. Some people thrive when maintaining their life, circumstances, jobs, relationships and other’s crave novelty. Knowing how you operate within the stages of change can bring to the surface some of the challenges you face when trying to make transformations in your life.
This can also be helpful with couples who struggle with changes and transitions. Sometimes the actual timelines of when you want to make a change is similar, but how long you want to spend in each stage is different. For example, let’s say there was a couple, Bobby and Sally. Sally liked the preparation stage and Bobby is anxious in the preparation stage because he preferred action. If we cut out all the extra thoughts, and anxieties, they both want kids in 3-4 years. Sally may want to talk about their life plan, and how kids will fit into it, right now. Bobby probably won’t initially want to, because it’s too far away to take action on. Neither is right or wrong. Getting to know how both partners make changes help them to better understand each other’s needs.
Look through the stages of change and see how getting to know your own preferences, anxieties, and comfort in each stage can help inform your change making process.